MEL: This is the place.
I got 'em nosed. This is the nest.
ERIN: Without an Ock I can't spill a whole van.
MEL: I'm not gonna get you booted from the Laws, sis.
Just brake when I say.
(MEL GRUNTS)
Can you lock in their router?
Take me a min.
(GRUNTS)
I'm buying. (VAMPIRE ROARS)
(MEL GRUNTS)
(VAMPIRE ROARING)
ERIN: Does she always have to do that?
Okay. Router lock active.
MEL: Where is he?
(VAMPIRE GRUNTING)
Where is Harth?
(VAMPIRE GRUNTING)
VAMPIRE: This can't hap! He promised us your world!
MEL: Splen for you. Where?
He said the madwoman would save us!
What woman?
The dark-haired one.
She's lived for centuries, speaks in riddles and strange voices.
He calls her the Black Hope,
says she has power greater even than his.
Please don't give me the poke.
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHS) Begging. Weak.
(GRUNTS)
ERIN: Do you know who she is?
MEL: Not off top, but it sounds famil.
Gotta scan the diaries again.
ERIN: Ugh. This place. You know, I still have that extra room.
MEL: This is my home. Place welcomes me.
Got history in it, in these diaries,
and since Harth got my Slayer memories,
I've need. Besides...
(ERIN SHRIEKS)
MEL: You really set to share a flat with Gates?
(GATES GIBBERING)
ERIN: Gates?
MEL: The last great Watcher.
Sacrificed himself at the Battle of Starbucks.
But I read about a madwoman before.
HARTH: I remember fighting you.
In the dream, you hurt me.
Not just fighting, you're connected to someone I love.
And that's the one, the Slayer of Slayers. That's who I am in the dream.
That's who's coming.
WOMAN: Tonight, the princess leaves her kingdom for the forest of the now.
HARTH: I haven't asked you why you want her here,
or why you want my sister to find her.
WOMAN: But you want to.
HARTH: Aren't they more of a threat to us combined?
WOMAN: Your schemes are ingenious.
Keeping your force mobile,
spreading the beloved infection throughout Noram.
(WOMAN CHUCKLING)
But there is nothing a Slayer cannot overcome.
HARTH: Then why call for another?
WOMAN: Vampires gain strength from each other.
Slayers, ultimately, don't.
What happens in your time will cause your time to come, do you see?
HARTH: I need you to explain to me.
WOMAN: Ripples, child.
Everything is ripples.
(SIGHING) This is my fault.
Nah, I zigged when I should've stabbed. I'll heal up okay.
Still, a considerate girlfriend would've killed that thing.
I have to figure some things out first.
This wasn't a transmogrification, which is a huge relief.
Why? Are you kidding?
Buffy can't handle a zit. In this body, she'd kill herself.
I think our new friend is from the future,
and I think Buffy took his place.
KENNEDY: I thought this temporal event thingy was supposed to help us.
So did I. Which means
this is my fault.
(SHOUTING)
XANDER: Oh, God.
Rowena! Status!
I got most of the squad out through the tunnels.
The West Tower collapsed. At least seven.
Do you know what hit us?
(ROWENA SOBBING)
Soldiers die, Rowena. They do it all the time.
Whatever hit us was mystical, okay? Flames are not bright green.
Also, interesting sidebar,
flames are not medieval cobra-faced foot soldiers.
(GROWLING)
Tunnels! Ahhh!
Sir, look out!
Get the Slayers out. Sir!
Oh, yeah, maybe we should discuss
the pros and cons, and put it up for a vote.
Okay! I just gotta... Snakes, green, fire.
I can't believe I don't have a pun.
(SHOUTING)
DAWN: You're welcome.
Look, those things are forming all over the place.
How bad?
XANDER: Unless I can fall down and throw up my way out of here,
I got nothing. Okay. Okay.
You're gonna have to ride me.
What?
(LAUGHS) Ride you?
(DAWN SIGHING)
(SCREAMING)
Ow! You're pulling my hair!
I'm holding your mane!
My mane is my hair!
ERIN: Are you cert this is a good idea?
MEL: Have I ever had one? The books talk about this place.
The Last Girl came here and was transformed, they says.
They say the madwoman's power reached through the ages and changed her.
Sounds hokum, but worth a peek.
I find troubles, I'll pulse you.
WILLOW: This is how it goes down.
(WILLOW SPEAKING)
(MEL GRUNTS)
Whoever did this has way more power than I do.
We were played. We were all pasties.
VIOLET: Or possibly patsies.
(WILLOW SPEAKING)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
Okay. Okay. Stop. Please!
(MEL GRUNTING)
Stop slaying me!
Off of me, shifter!
I am not shifty!
(MEL GRUNTING)
That's spin! You think I'm a slack?
You are talking crazy-person talk.
Put your words in word places, please.
(SIGHS) We both have scythes. We both have awesome Kung Fu moves.
Turn-offs include smokers, insensitive men, and vampires.
You with me? It's not poss.
We're standing on a flying car.
Poss is a pretty sketchy concept right now.
So what? Future? Alternate, much cooler universe?
MEL: Buffy Summers.
BUFFY: (SIGHS) Present.
MEL: Buffy Summers is long dead.
Two cen, maybe more.
What's your name? Melaka.
Cute. I time-traveled.
Why?
Kind of hoping you were gonna tell me.
Follow. Okay, but I can't...
(GRUNTING)
I totally can't do that jumpy thing. Hello?
BUFFY: So, am I still in Manhattan?
MEL: Haddyn.
BUFFY: (SIGHS) So, yeah, I guess.
This is actually more like I imagined it than the one in my time.
And Willow said, she's my best friend,
you've probably read all about her,
that this temporal event was gonna help us somehow,
besides being a visual nifty.
So maybe you've got the skinny on defeating Twilight!
MEL: Uh, American?
In my time, the Slayers have just recently been called, so we're kind of flying blind.
At the least I'd like to know how you guys are organized.
Guys?
(SIGHING) Okay. Sorry. Slow.
How many are you? Worldwide, how many Slayers?
One.
Half.
For cen there was none. I'm the first called since your time.
And the half part?
I have a twin. His name is Harth.
He was born with my memories, my connex to the Slayers.
I got books, old Watchers journals, but he knows more.
(MEL SIGHS)
And he was turned. He's a lurk.
He has all my world in his head,
and he's using it to gather them.
To kill us.
My Harth.
I'm sorry.
What's a lurk?
Vampires are lurks, a spin is a lie,
toy is bad, but splen is good.
Boy, the English language is just losing it.
I should have treated it better...
Gunther!
I can hear you down there! Turn on the rutting lights!
GUNTHER: Melaka! You brought a friend.
BUFFY: How long has he been down there?
GUNTHER: Hmm. Orange polka dots.
BUFFY: Ah! Mer-sleaze.
MEL: Boss, this is Buffy. A Slayer, so don't be an aquahog.
Another Slayer?
From the past. Time faddle, don't know why.
GUNTHER: I don't trade in magics, dear.
MEL: Haddyn don't shake without your nod.
Someone you know knows something I need.
Been chatter of a madwoman strapping Harth.
If you haven't heard it, you will 'fore long.
Think maybe she's the keycard to all this.
GUNTHER: I've heard a little. A woman, alive since ancient times.
Lurks don't age. What's her ploy?
BUFFY: (SIGHS) Oh, God.
This is really happening. Does she at least have a name?
WOMAN: It's starting.
HARTH: (SIGHS) It's going to be quite a battle.
WOMAN: No. Buffy.
She's starting to feel the weight of it,
of the world's loss, of her failure.
You sound sad.
Does that surprise you?
This is a great day for us.
Why do you need to destroy your sister?
She's the last thing I ever loved.
We're connected. Her pain is my joy.
My true love.
And what in this world is stronger than love?
Time. Only time.
ENGLISH - US - PSDH